It’s safe to say that the past couple of years have been a challenge for the world at large. And as a result of that, mental health has been on the decline for a large number of people living through this pandemic. Feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety, all of the above, and more due to isolation. Hatred and poisonous acts of violence directed towards the LGBT+ and BIPOC occurring daily. Governments and lawmakers working attempting and occasionally succeeding at dismantling any sort of positive future this planet has. It has been a lot to go through.
With so much out of our control affecting our lives in such a huge way, it may leave you feeling lost and unmotivated. Dealing with this much anxiety and stress can lead to burnout, which I’m sure many are experiencing and have been experiencing for months. Myself included. This led me to think about how I feel like I have been personally failing myself and my craft throughout all of this. I put my work, my learning, my development, and my magickal development on hold. There were so many days where I knew tapping into the energy of my craft and attempting to be present with it and my emotions would have served me well. But I just couldn’t muster the energy. And that led me to think I was a terrible witch. And in all honestly led me to feel I didn’t deserve to call myself a witch at all.
I have carried this guilt for most of the pandemic. I didn’t feel like a complete failure, so I would do my best to find other educational resources to keep me inspired and tapped into my practice at least in some way. But that may have added to my guilt more. Seeing other witches go through similar stress and having similar problems still being able to be one with their craft and their magick. I began comparing myself to them. And asking myself some pretty dark questions. Why could I not? Am I lazy? Am I even worthy of practicing? Why can’t I just push through this? All of these would run through my mind and still do. Quiet often.
Things can’t get better if something doesn’t change. But what do you change in this scenario? So much is out of our control and so much is left uncertain. So how can you push past this feeling? Pam Grossman, the host of The Witch Wave podcast and author of Waking the Witch: Reflections on Women, Magic, and Power has said that “magick will be there for you when you are ready”. Personally, hearing this from a more seasoned witch than myself brought comfort and helped relieve some guilt that I had been holding on to. It helped me realize that I shouldn’t be so hard on myself and that there were other things I needed to work on to push through this slump. And the first step on that journey was this: release the guilt.
The guilt pairs well with feeling unmotivated. You feel shitty about not doing what you wanted, and you figure what’s the point now. Why try? Sticking with that feeling of guilt allows for self-hatred to seep in. And I know now more than ever, that that is absolutely not something we should hold on to. And that it has more to do with that lack of motivation than any other crazy thing your brain may start to tell you when you feel bad about yourself.
The mission of this project is to show a wider view of witchcraft. To help release new and old practitioners from the idea that witchcraft is only practiced one way. I want to work towards that mission in as many ways as I can, and one of them is this. It is okay if you don’t practice all the time. It is okay if you don’t have the energy to do that ritual tonight. It is okay if you haven’t finished that book yet. It is okay. To be not okay. Anything you do or don’t do doesn’t make you any more or any less of a witch. Some may disagree. But practice forgiveness with yourself and practice when you feel ready. It will always be there for you.
And with that, I am going to do my best to get back to work. I have so many ideas and projects in the works and can’t wait to share them with you all.
Be safe and be well.